Well, I believe maybe I lost watchers, why? Because I lost my interest to draw.
And I lost my pen for my tablet.
Once I get my tablet pen back, I'll be drawing like no tomorrow.
I have many things to do.
I still owe people art and I feel horrible.

Genius yes my tablet company, has told me they will send my pen... and that was a LONG time ago. Like... really long. I haven't seen it yet. Oh well, at the moment I'm like... artist block.

Also, I really hate drama. Friends really suck sometimes, a lot of time I really hate having friends. I mean sometimes it would be nice to only have ONE friend... and that friend not to have any other friends. That would be nice.

No, of course I don't get that luxury. Halloween is coming up in a few months and already people are fighting to have me. I'm not even that great of a person, why does everyone want me? I never get to hang out with friends like Chelsiii or Jessyka, and when I do... other friends stick their noses in my plans and tell me how much I never hang out with them. All I do is hang out with them too! Ugh, and I'm worried for my newest friend. She's simply amazing and I'm so lucky to have her as a friend. Everything went into over-protection mode when I heard my friend was trying to steal her from me, yes that's right... steal her. I never get to have one thing that's mine do I? No.

It's always someone else's. That might seem selfish, but it seems the moment I get something that means a hell of a lot to me, I share it and suddenly I'm the one pushed back.

The sad thing is, I let it happen. I let them push me around, because I can't stick up for myself. I miss my friends from a while ago. I should of just gone to a different school. I would of never had this drama. Maybe I would of, but... at least I wouldn't have friends who try to steal friends from me.
It's true, it's my fault once more. I told my friends I would go with them, but then my other friend asked me and I barely get to see her. I barely get to talk to her.
Oh, and I have to drop plans with her because I made plans with them first.
They don't care I never get to see my friend do they?

Of course they don't.
And they wonder why I brag about my other friends... why? Because they never ever hurt me.

I always hurt them and I don't deserve them for that.
I have to hurt them to make my other friends happy.
It's a complicated life and I still don't see why I'm so important.
I don't even know who I am no more, I lost myself and no one understands.
Which is why I'm crying to you guys, because I really want someone to help me.
I'm too afraid of telling my friends.